Monday Mini Series

A friend on Facebook suggested I do segments of these random conversations in our house. I have to admit, its a good idea! So here's a recap of them for the past week...

(As Nolin proceeds to pull out his basket of blocks to dump out)

Me: Nolin!! No!!!

Nolin: Why?

Me: Cause its too early to be making a mess that big. Mommy can't handle it.

Nolin: No. You go night-night! You sleepy. Shush!!! (As he waves a block in my face)

Me: Are you kidding me?! Are you trying to hypnotize me?!?!

Nolin: Um no? (As he closes his eyes to make me disappear)

Who is this kid?!?!?!

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(Once Nolin gets cleaned up after dinner he likes to leap out of his highchair. Earlier this week he sprained his ankle doing it)

Me: No jumping. Get down like a normal person please.

Nolin: Why?

Me: So you don't get hurt. Remember when you almost broke your leg the other day?!

Nolin: Yes.

Me: Did it hurt?

Nolin: Yes.

Me: You don't want to get hurt again do you?

Nolin: Noooo.

Me: Okay well then don't jump.

Nolin: Weeeeee!!!! JUMP!!!!

Me: Seriously?! Are you okay?

Nolin: Yes.

Me: Will you ever learn your lesson?

Nolin: No.

Oh well....At least he's honest!!!

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(As the wind blows through the house, several doors slam shut in the front of the house. Including Nolin's bedroom door)

Nolin: *gasp* What's that?!

Adam: The monster

(door slams again)

Nolin: *blood curdling scream* (as he runs down the hall & jumps on the couch next to me crying)

Me: Its okay baby (mean mugs Adam)

Nolin: No Mommy!! Monster!!! (points to his bedroom)

Adam: *laughs hysterically*

(door slams again)

Nolin: (starts crying & buries his head in my side)

Me: You're an ass (shoots hateful look at Adam)

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(While trying to take a toy hot dog off his grill with tongs & place it on a plate, Nolin repeatedly drops the hot dog)

Nolin: *grunts in frustration*

(hot dog falls from the tongs)

Nolin: Jerk!!! (as he picks it up again & puts it on the plate)

(hot dog rolls off the plate as he walks towards me)

Nolin: Aggghhhh!!! (chucks plate & hot dog across the room)

Me: *chuckles* Its okay baby. Its fine. Don't throw things though.

Nolin: Shush! <insert hateful glare> Don't laugh. That's not nice!

I guess he has a point lol...

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(As he rummages through the pantry & fridge before dinner)

Nolin: I want cookies.

Me: No.

Nolin: I want crackers.

Me: No.

Nolin: I want grapes.

Me: No.

Nolin: I want chips.

Me: No.

Nolin: I want french fries. I want chicken nuggets.

Me: No.

Nolin: I want apples.

Me: No.

Nolin: I want banana.

Me: No.

Nolin: I want juice.

Me: No.

Nolin: I want my milk.

Me: No.

Nolin: I want yogurt.

Me: No.

Nolin: I want...This (still have no idea what it was lol)

Me: No.

Nolin: I want cereal.

Me: No.

Nolin: Where's my water?

Me: Right there (points to end table)

Apparently he thinks if he names everything he can think of he has a greater chance of getting something. He's exhausting....

Nolin: I want a cookie, a cookie, a cookie...A cooookieeeeeee! (in a sing-song voice)

Me: We're not going through this again...

Apparently he also thinks if he SINGS his food choices he'll win me over. Creative little booger.