A Day in the Life...

730am Nolin wakes me up by jumping on my bed & steps on my boob by accident. Milk shoots out on his leg. His hollering (& my painful cry) wakes Mason up.

800am Nolin's begging for pizza. He's running in circles chanting "Pizza!! Pizza!!" Must come up with a breakfast pizza...

830am Adam gives him a breakfast bar while I nurse Mason. He licks it, says "Ew" & throws it on the end table. Cue hand in diaper...

900am Nolin finally decides to eat his breakfast bar while dancing to music videos. Apparently all of his new dance moves require him to pull his junk out & flap it around...

915am He bolts out the back door in his birthday suit. Thankfully Adam is out there inspecting the pool...

930am The boys come back inside. Nolin runs to the fridge & begs for a hot dog. When I tell him no, he proceeds to scale the shelves to get one himself. I finally convince him to settle for sausage & eggs.

10am Adam goes out to water the plants. Nolin freaks out cause Adam locks him inside. His shrieking wakes Mason up. Again.

1015am We sit down to color Granny a picture. He flips when I put the picture on the fridge afterwards.

1030am Nolin locks me in his room to make me pretend to go "night-night" just so he can pretend to scare me. Silly boy :)

1045am He gets in trouble for hitting the tv with a toy. In retaliation he stuffs his mouth with tissues, chokes & spews wet nasty tissue all over the living room.

11am He tackles a duck while sucking his thumb.

1115am Nolin decides that the dogs don't REALLY need water to survive & dumps it all over the kitchen floor. Then throws a tantrum because I put him in timeout.

1130am Apparently because I didn't let him play in the dog water, he decided to play in the toilet. Awesome.

12pm For lunch I give him the hot dog he wanted earlier. He proceeds to chew it up & spit it out. In piles. On the living room floor. Even the dogs won't eat it now so I crawl around & pick up the nasty piles of chewed food.

1230pm He's screaming for food. Yeah kid, that's what happens when you spit your food out instead if EATING it. Duh.

By the afternoon he had played outside, gone swimming & had a nap only to wake up & pull Mr Winky out to pee on the living room floor in pure joy...

That evening Adam, distracted by Nolin's antics, accidentally puts too much wood in the smoker so our chicken dinner was a tad too smokey. Which meant Nolin got his pizza for dinner <insert eye roll> Afterwards, I attempt to put a screaming 2yo in the shower with me (as is our normal routine) but he wants Gramma to join us. Well that's just awkward. Eventually he settles down & we get ready for bed. While he goes out to the living room to watch a movie with Adam & Gramma, I give Mason a bath who wants NO part of laying in his little tub. Instead, he stands up. For the entire bath. While Nolin runs in, slams the sink drawer into my back repeatedly & tries to toss bath toys at his brother. Eventually Gramma comes to the rescue after hearing the obscenities flowing...I had reached that point. I nurse Mason to sleep, wait for his sheets to dry so I can lay him down (all 3 were dirty from spit up), watch UP with Nolin until I finally just pulled him into bed with me at 11pm cause I'm exhausted & its clear he has NO concept of bedtime.

Welcome to a typical day in our house. And people wonder why I look like a ragged hag. Duh.