The Situation...Part 2

{I feel like I should have posted a forward for this series. I should definitely preface that I know Nolin can be handful. I also understand the need for rules & order, particularly when there's more than 1 child involved, as well as the fact that violence is unacceptable. I am by no means in denial that my child often exhibits unacceptable behavior. But I also know that patience, love, acceptance, understanding, attention & simple behavior modification techniques can go a LONG way.}

I've really struggled with whether or not I should post this next part. On one hand it was a private correspondence. On the other hand, its almost too ridiculous NOT to post. And since we have now severed ties both professionally & personally I'm not too concerned. I also do not feel that I have anything to be ashamed of other than my failure as a mother to stand up for my child. So if she somehow, some day happened to find this series...Then I hope it causes her to stop & consider her behavior as an adult...

After Nolin's doctor appt last Friday, I received a text from the sitter asking how things went. I gave her general information about the appt (which I will post at another time) but she responded that she specifically was interested in what she had to say in regards to his behavior. I told her that we could discuss it at length when we were there this week but that we were told to stay away from processed, sugary foods with red dye & were given some behavioral techniques to try. The following is an email on Facebook that I received over the weekend in response:

And, with your last text I wanted to let you know that I can no longer care for Nolin, effective immediately.

We have discussed this at length and have come to the conclusion that he is a danger to the other children. I convinced my husband to wait until after his Dr. appointment, but there seems to be no resolution.

We don't have the ability to constantly correct his behavior here while caring for other children.

We have put a lot of thought into this over the past few months and really don't know what else to do. We need to look out for the welfare of the children I care for, our family and us.

I'm sure you will understand the position I'm in.

Thanks.

Reading it again makes my blood boil. Like, "punch someone in the face" boil. I guess we can safely assume Nolin gets his temper honestly lol.

Let's break it down...

• "effective immediately"  I find it interesting that I would have had to give a notice to discontinue services but she can just call it quits. I guess she equates this to her being an employer & I the employee when in reality its the other way around. Thanks for screwing us over knowing that Mason had 2 appts this week, I had 1 & a job interview.
• "there seems to be no resolution"  I'm curious. What type of "resolution" was she expecting? Medication for ADHD as she had mentioned once before? If I'm not mistaken, NO doctors will prescribe such potent medications until a child is of school age & has been formally tested. Not to mention that is all beside the point since neither myself or our pediatrician are willing to medicate ever. I will do OT, PT, ST, counseling, diet adjustments & behavioral modification before I ever medicate my child. End of discussion.
• "We don't have the ability to constantly correct his behavior here while caring for other children."  Well there never seemed to be a problem before you took on all the extra kids. Once you had to divide your attention between more children you lost the ability to provide adequate attention to ANY of them. Nolin just happens to be a tad more needy when it comes to wanting attention & you were too busy to provide it. Having the ability to provide adequate attention would have greatly decreased your need to provide constant correction. Yet you still seem to make plenty of time to provide attention & correction to your "favorites" Go figure.
• "We have put a lot of thought into this over the past few months"  Well that's news to me!!! The 1st time this was brought to MY attention was mid-May. Which means, if you had been considering this for MONTHS you should have said something. Particularly in regards to your inability to continue providing your services in the event that your expected "resolution" was not achieved. And especially because I have been on maternity leave since the end of March which would have left me 3 MONTHS to find a new provider. Not instantly. Its not magic. I don't have a damn fairy Godmother...
• "We need to look out for the welfare of the children I care for, our family and us"  I mean, he's 2. Did you think he was going to bring a gun to school? Or mysteriously become tall enough to reach your counter & grab a knife? Or pummel you all to death with his tiny chubby little fists? Seriously, someone PLEASE help me understand this statement.
• "I'm sure you will understand the position I'm in"  This perhaps makes me the most angry of all. No, no I don't understand your position. I don't understand how you can be willing to provide your services to other ill-behaved children but not my own (Fact: Nolin

But alas, I left all of those things unsaid. Instead of defending my family, my child, I bowed out gracefully. In my defense though, when I received this email I was so angry that I had to stop & pray. I prayed that instead of acting like a child that God would give me the ability to handle the situation gracefully, like an adult (Which I admit, is not usually a strong area for me. I often behave like a spoiled rotten 13 year old who didn't get her way. I have enough self-awareness to realize this is a fault of mine lol) I prayed that He would give me the words to respond. So this is what my response looked like...

We understand. Adam & I have talked it over frequently the last few weeks & had actually decided to give you a 2 weeks notice this coming week anyway. While you guys have been great over the last year, it has become increasingly clear that Nolin was no longer happy over there. While we disagree that he is a danger to others, we do agree that perhaps at this time it is not in his best interest to be in a group setting. I have also been presented with several job opportunities that would require us to either move entirely out of state or at least require different services as far as a sitter goes. Either of which will allow us to better control his nutrition & resulting behavior. Thank you for your services thus far. They've been greatly appreciated.

Coward.